IN-RING PROMO: TRIPLE H & SHAWN MICHAELS
One of the best promos I can remember from two of the best in the business. This gave me chills.
Promo Rating: Ten DX’s
BOBBY LASHLEY w/LIO RUSH VS. KEVIN OWENS
They must be setting Lashley up for a heel turn if they’re going to keep him with Rush, because Rush is fucking obnoxious on the mic here. Owens is looking especially spry tonight. I’m all for a Lashley heel turn, and since he’s the benchmark for awful promos, it’s also a great idea to have Rush talk for him and generate even more heat. Lashley is wrestling like a heel and Owens more like a face in this match, while Cole is playing up how the crowd is responding negatively to Rush.
Owens’ knee gets caught on the top rope, and Lashley, like a heel would, attacks the knee before hitting a weird twisty thing for the win. He poses for the crowd while Rush chants his name. He needs this turn. He was stagnating as a face and being wasted. To cement the heel turn, he goes back and continues to attack Owens’ knee after the match. That erases any doubt about his face or heel status. Does it also mean a face turn for KO? To be continued…
Match Rating: Eight Gold Medals
It’s announced that John Cena does not have to qualify for the WWE World Cup, probably because they don’t want to bother giving up a 12-second match. There will also be a battle royal tonight.
Lio Rush & Bobby Lashley cut in on Finn Baylor & Bayley’s interview to brag about Lashley’s win over Owens.
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN: ELIAS
I love the Cubs dig. Ronda Rousey interrupts! Interesting, I hope she breaks his arm.
Song Rating: Seven Eric Claptons
RONDA ROUSEY & THE BELLAS VS. THE RIOTT SQUAD
When I saw Ronda come out herself I thought she’s dropped the dead weight. No such luck. Botchy gets to go back in there against Liv. At least they’re using the kick incident in the storyline of the match. I love the chemistry that Logan and Rousey have. Since it’s obvious they’re not going anywhere, I guess I should try to look for positives with the Bellas. I still can’t stand them, but Nikki looks good again tonight. I actually really like her spine buster.
I’m so glad they made Sarah Logan a viking instead of a dumb ass hick. Same thing with Liv Morgan, much better as a Harley Quinn-type than a girl whose whole gimmick is I’M FROM JERSEY! Ronda is terrific at building up anticipation before hitting her spinning Samona Drop and her arm bar. She really gets the psychology. She makes Ruby Riott tap, then the Bellas attack! We knew this was coming eventually. I thought it would happen in Australia, so it took me by surprise tonight. That was a damn good beat down she got. She got bounced off of everything. So now we know it’s true: Nikki vs. Ronda at Evolution.
Match Rating: Seven Gold Medals
Beat Down Rating: Seven Randy Ortons
MIXED TAG MATCH: TEAM B-N-B VS. TEAM MAHALICIA
I don’t get why we keep having the mixed tag matches on Raw instead of just on Mixed Match Challenge. It was fun the first couple times but now we’re seeing the same thing every week, and these four are just being wasted now.
There’s trouble in heel paradise, with Ziggler, McIntyre, and Strowman all getting hot. Baron Corbin tells Heath Slater he’s no good.
GLOBAL BATTLE ROYAL
WTF is this? I hope Heath Slater is the Conquistador. I love that Corey Graves made a Dumb & Dumber Sea Bass reference. IT’S NOT HEATH SLATER! IT’S KURT ANGLE! OH IT’S TRUE! IT’S DAMN TRUE! Our blog’s beloved patriarch has returned! Oh hell yeah!
Booking Rating: Ten Dustys
EMBER MOON VS. NIA JAX
Nia basically keeps swatting ember away like a bug. Ember ends up making a comeback and dodges Nia outside the ring, just beating the count for a count out victory. I have no idea what this accomplished. They hug after the match but… I dunno. This was pretty pointless and the match was not good.
IN-RING PROMO: TRISH STRATUS
Alexa Bliss & Mickie James interrupt immediately. Mickie James steps between Alexa and Trish and insults Chicago. I think is about to kick Mickie’s head off. Trish’s promo kinda sucks. Trish is probably gonna get Lita as a partner. HELL YEAH! Hopefully they can still go and give us a great match.
Trish Promo Rating: Two Vicki Guerreros
Segment Rating: Four This Is Your Lifes
Old school Shield promo. Love it.
BOBBY ROODE & CHAD GABLE VS. THE ASCENSION
How long is this feud going to continue? Graves keeps talking about how Konnor has been dominating these two, so it is possible that it’s the Ascension will be splitting rather than Gable & Roode? If Viktor takes the loss in this match, that could be an indicator of an Ascension demise. The Chicago crowd had behaved tonight until now. “Oh it’s not guys we love in this match? CM PUNK! CM PUNK!” Thankfully those fuck heads got booed. Chad Gable is one of the most exciting wrestlers in the world, so those dick heads obviously know nothing. Sure I’m mostly sick of this feud, but this is a damn good match. It seems that BOTH teams have reason to be upset tonight, as Roode is not happy that Gable tagged himself in, and, as I thought might happen, Viktor took the loss.
Match Rating: Six Gold Medals
Out comes AOP to destroy both teams. Everybody gets left laying. That was nasty.
Destruction Rating: Four Braun Strowmans
PROMO: PAUL HEYMAN
Heyman points out the advantage Lesnar has by not having the grueling full-time WWE schedule. It’s an excellent point. I’m about 95% sure Graves asking “Is Brock here tonight?” was not supposed to come on over the air. Another tremendous promo from the best manager in the game.
Promo Rating: Nine Paul Heymans
THE SHIELD VS. BRAUN STROWMAN, DREW McINTYRE, & DOLPH ZIGGLER
They really need to let these six guys have street fight, TLC match, some kind of no DQ tornado tag match match where they can just reign chaos down on each other. Strowman to his teammates: “GET YOUR CRAP TOGETHER!” The Shield is especially fired up tonight. Even Roman hits a big suicide dive. Roman has been surprisingly well received tonight by a usually-smarky crowd.
Strowman gets physical with Dolph and then McIntyre steps in Strowman’s face. The crowd is way into this, and the psychology and storytelling is great. A huge flurry of moves by everybody has bodies strewn everywhere. Roman spears Strowman on the floor. Unfortunately with everybody down on the floor, Ambrose climbs back in just to eat a Claymore from McIntyre to take the loss. That was a hell of a match.
Match Rating: Eight Gold Medals
Dean leaves alone. What does that mean?
Despite a couple of awful and pointless matches in the middle, this was an excellent show.
Overall Show Rating: Nine Gold Medals