OPENING SEGMENT: RANDY ORTON
So last week Randy talks about how much disdain he has for the WWE Universe and brutally attack Jeff Hardy, a fan favorite, once again. Yet, when he comes out this week, he still gets cheers? K.
A lot of boos too, but I can’t for the life of me figure out why he’s getting a mixed reaction. It was a really good promo until the end, when he got the crowd to chant R-K-O. We need FULL HEEL Randy Orton. He needs to be doing things to erase the cheers, not encourage them. For the most part, the promo was good.
Promo Rating: Four Roddy Pipers
BECKY LYNCH & CHARLOTTE FLAIR VS. THE ICONICS
With Carmella on commentary. It’s almost a certainty she’ll get involved in the match somehow. The Iconics are so rude and awful and annoying that they’re perfect heels. They eat up the “boring” chants for the audience. They hit Becky where it hurts. I’m really glad I’ve come around to recognize them as awful people but great heels instead of awful everything.
Charlotte hits a pretty moonsault that takes out both Royce and Kaye, then makes Royce tap to the Figure Eight. Charlotte and Becky hug it out after, and Carmella looks extremely worried. Not much to the match itself. The action was decent.
Match Rating: Four Gold Medals
Following some stupid shit from the New Day, Miz accepts Daniel Bryan’s challenge for Summerslam. YES! YES! YES!
IN-RING PROMO: AJ STYLES
AJ cuts probably a pretty hard promo about missing out of his kids’ lives and his wife basically being a single parent because of the sacrifices he’s making. There’s obviously a lot of truth in his statements. I don’t think we’ve ever seen AJ this angry and fired up, and it’s because he’s never had an opponent get this personal with him. This feud is now on another level, and has a lot more importance with family and their decade of friendship being brought into it. Great promo, I really felt it.
Promo Rating: Eight Stone Colds
ZELINA VEGA W/ANDRADE “CIEN” ALMAS VS. LANA W/RUSEV
I’d seen Zelina wrestle before so I know she’s got quite a bit of talent in the ring. Lana looks really good and smooth in the ring tonight. Almas gets invovled and Rusev smashes him with a clothesline and gets a HUGE pop. As I figured would happen, English got himself involved again, and he fucked up again, knocking Lana off the turnbuckle and allowing Zelina to hit a running double knee strike in the corner for the win. Are we gonna see Rusev vs. English at SummerSlam? This match was really entertaining and both women did a great job.
Match Rating: Seven Gold Medals
R-Truth says he wants a match against Shinsuke at SummerSlam and he’ll get it by pinning Carmella. Instead he gets a match tonight. That shit was funny.
I might have to give up SmackDown if they don’t stop talking about this fucking Miz show. Every one of his god damn promos has to bring it up. MAYBE if he was a face I could understand it. BUT HE’S A FUCKING HEEL! STOP TRYING TO MAKE PEOPLE LIKE HIM! HOLY SHIT I FEEL LIKE I’M FUCKING CRAZY HERE! I’m calm. The only good thing that happened was Daniel Bryan showing up to beat the shit out of him.
R-TRUTH VS. SHINSUKE NAKAMURA
Truth is a jobber, but damn is he entertaining. And he’s incredibly athletic. He gets in a minimal amount of offense but he’s mostly there to be a practice dummy for Shinsuke. He does his job well and it’s a pretty entertaining squash match. Unfortunately for Truth doing his job well means just one thing: knee to face.
Match Rating: Six Gold Medals
2-ON-3 HANDICAP MATCH: THE BLUDGEON BROTHERS VS. 3SK
Corey calls two members of 3SK the “Roman Reigns starter kit” and “Tazz Jr.”. If this is a handicap match, it’s certainly not the Bludgeons who are handicapped, I don’t care how many guys you put them up against. This was awesome brutality. I don’t care how short and one-sided this match was, I love this shit.
Match Rating: Seven Gold Medals
TAG TEAM #1 CONTENDER TOURNAMENT FINALS: THE BAR VS. THE NEW DAY
Big E and Kofi Kingston compete for the New Day, Woods will sit this one out, but I wouldn’t be surprised if he has an effect on the outcome of the match. Nice save by Cesaro as it definitely looked like he almost fell over while running the ropes. He managed to go low and use the ropes to bounce back upright.
I would have had Woods instead of Kofi in this match. I think he matches up better with Sheamus and Cesaro, he has a little more strength than Kofi. Kofi takes the a large amount of punishment in the match as he’s unable to get to Big E for about five minutes. Finally E gets the hot tag and hits three belly-to-belly suplexes on Sheamus. Sheamus hit one of the most brutal knees to the face I’ve ever seen on Big E, but he was only dazed for a moment. Shit man, that may as well have been a no sell. He should have been nearly out cold from that.
Big E missed horribly on a splash and ended up hitting the apron face first. That was nasty. After E kicks out of a pin attempt the crowd really gets back into it and is cheering New Day on to try to get them back into the match. Now it’s Big E taking the punishment, with Kofi still down on the outside. Cesaro hits a superplex followed by a Sheamus knee drop from the top rope, and the crowd pops hard again as Big E kicks out at two. They’re on their feet now chanting “this is awesome” and “New Day Rocks.” Perfect time for a hot tag as Kofi finally gets to his feet.
Kofi takes care of business and runs all over The Bar for a short time, until Cesaro catches him on a Trouble in Paradise attempt, then he and Sheamus hit him with a double back breaker to ground him again. Big E is nowhere to be seen, still down somewhere on the outside. Kofi ducks a Brogue Kick just as Big E gets to his feet. We get some great four-man action, and Kofi BARELY breaks up a pin attempt to save the match. Cesaro locks in the Sharpshooter on Big E in the middle of the ring. Kofi hits a jumping DDT off the barricade on Sheamus. Just as Big E is about to get to the ropes, Cesaro transitions the move into a Crossface and rolls back to the middle of the ring. E lifts Cesaro with the Crossface still locked in, and manages to get the tag to Kofi, who hits the Midnight Hour for the win!
Holy shit, what a match, and WHAT A FINISH! I don’t give out this rating much. Ten gold medals isn’t enough for this one, so I’ll give ten per team.
Match Rating: Twenty Gold Medals
Overall Show Rating: Eight Gold Medals
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