GORILLA FIGHTERS: F-A-B-U-L-O-U-S

gorilla position

Welcome to Gorilla Fighters, a feature where I profile some of the lesser-known entities of WWE and NXT. Not so much lesser-known as in terribly obscure or superstars who barely wrestle, but people that though we see them on TV and have become a little familiar with them, we really don’t know that much about. We pretty much know the life stories of guys like John Cena, Randy Orton, Kane, Undertaker, Triple H… they’ve been around for decades and have been profiled and had their stories told to us by JR, King, JBL, Michael Cole, and countless backstage interviewers. In this feature, I’ll try to research the same information about wrestlers that I find highly interesting and want to know more about, and I’ll definitely take suggestions on who to feature in these posts. I’ll also discuss each wrestler’s potential, where they are now, and where I hope they’ll end up.

It’s been a while since I’ve done one of these, but people have asked me to profile someone who is inexplicably proud to call herself the “Princess of Staten Island.”

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WHY SMACKDOWN LIVE IS MUST-SEE TV

A few months back, I wrote a piece entitled What’s wrong with Raw? In that post, I posited that Raw had too much talking and not enough wrestling, and that it was making the show nearly unwatchable. It turns out I was wrong. It’s not that there was too much talking, it’s that the people who were talking didn’t give the fans enough of a reason to care about what they were saying.

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NXT Review, 9/5

KASSIUS OHNO VS. KONA REEVES

Kona Reeves doesn’t connect with me one bit. I don’t know if Ohno is becoming a heel or a more aggressive face. My money is on a full heel turn. Reeves seems like a good dude and I want almost everyone to succeed, but this gimmick doesn’t seem to be working at all. Ohno makes quick work of Reeves with a rolling elbow and you can see the change in his disposition. More about the psychology here than the wrestling. He cuts an almost-heel promo that gets a cheer from the crowd, saying that he was the new guy and got a lot of buzz, but there’s always someone new, and he’ll be there to knock out that next new guy.

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205 Live Review, 9/4

GRAN METALIK VS. TONY NESE

Lucha House Party and Buddy Murphy are not allowed at ringside. This should be a really fun match. Nese can hang with anybody on the 205 Live roster. Some really good chain wrestling and athleticism to start the match. There’s certainly a time and place where the “traditional” type of match can is enjoyable, like a Roman, Hogan, Cena, and Ric Flair type match where one guy controls the other with rest holds for 70-80% of the match until a big comeback. However, I’ve found that I mostly enjoy these types of matches when both guys counter each other and there’s near non-stop action. I love back-and-forth matches, which is why I’m so drawn to 205 Live, and why I’ve enjoyed the Daniel Bryan-Andrade “Cien” Almas feud. It’s not formulaic and predictable. Again, the “formula” has worked for decades, so there is definitely a place for it, and most WWE main event matches are and will continue to be like that. It works to a point, but they need to pay attention to the crowd reactions of almost every 205 Live match and see what really makes the crowd happy.

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SmackDown Live Review 9/4

IN-RING SEGMENT: DANIEL BRYAN AND BOTCH BELLA

Great, more Bella bullshit. Let’s see if she botches her ring entrance and falls on her face. Also I would rather listen to Stephanie’s entrance music on an endless loop than hear that horrendous crap that she has. “After my tag match it’s clearer than ever that we don’t have to wait until Hell in a Cell.” Ok, I get that it’s scripted, but how can she say that with a straight face? Almas and Vega save us from having to hear her spew any more vomit, and we have a match.

 

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Raw Review, 9/3

IN-RING SEGMENT: FUCKING EVERYBODY

I’ve been interested to see how the crowd is going to react to Braun and his new alliance. Some cheers but mostly boos. It feels weird because… didn’t Roman get backup and leave Strowman laying first? That seemed like the heel turn. But no, because they’re The Shield, they’re faces no matter what? This seems like a really convoluted storyline, at least in the early stages.

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205 Live Review, 8/28

THE BRIAN KENDRICK W/JACK GALLAGHER VS. AKIRA TOZAWA

Very entertaining to see Tozawa knock down Gallagher and Kendrick each with once punch. Very different styles here and Tozawa’s offense is an explosive flurry while Kendrick is slow and methodical. It’s a perfect matchup.

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SmackDown Live Review, 8/28

NEW DAY’S CELEBRATION

KING BOOKER?!? Please allow me to mark out. FIVE TIME! FIVE TIME! FIVE TIME! FIVE TIME! FIVE TIME! This was everything I could ask for and more, complete with SPINNEROONIES! It’s rare that comedy segments are that good, but this was terrific.

Segment Rating: Ten This Is Your Lifes

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Raw Review, 8/27

OPENING SEGMENT: ROMAN REIGNS & BRAUN STROWMAN

Strowman is cashing in at Hell in a Cell. That is bitchin’. Roman seems like a total tweener tonight, I was hoping they would go definitively in one direction, but we’ll see where it goes. It would seem we’re gonna see Roman and Braun team up against Ziggler and McIntyre tonight. Is Ziggler fucking crazy?? They’re challenging Roman and Braun. I guess to be the man, you gotta beat the man, but shit, this feels like suicide.

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