MIZTV WITH… R-TRUTH AND A BRUNETTE CARMELLA
I really love that R-Truth is becoming relevant, no matter how short-lived this may be. He’s still over as hell. Carmella is so talented that she’s gone from the most hated heel on SmackDown to a cheered face in less than a month. So this is now TruthTV? Rock on. I am greatly entertained by the new format, especially the seven-second dance break. It does not take much to make me happy.
Daniel Bryan talks about why he wants to be WWE Champion vs. why Miz wants to be champion. There are so many levels to their feud and it will likely last until one or both of them permanently retires. Truth disses the hell out of Miz, and Miz has nothing to come back with. Then he basically tells Daniel Bryan that he will always cheat, and that’s why DB can’t beat him, because Bryan will never cheat, or he’ll tarnish his name. That’s some awesome heel stuff. Miz is “banneded” from TruthTV for life. He challenges Miz for the talk show, and we get another dance break. Miz is so taken aback that he leaves. That was true fucking entertainment in every way.
R-Truth Promo Rating: Eight Rocks
Daniel Bryan Promo Rating: Six Stone Colds
Miz Promo Rating: Nine Roddy Pipers
Segment Rating: Nine This Is Your Lifes
MIZTV VS. TRUTHTV MATCH: MIZ VS. R-TRUTH
This is a really entertaining match. Truth and Carmella are having so much fun and pumping up the crowd. Just like the Finn Balor-Jinder Mahal match last night, it harkens back to 80’s style WWF entertainment, which is still a lot of fun. Miz gets the win, as expected, and in a snap back to “reality”, he stares down Daniel Bryan before hitting the running knee finisher for the pin.
Match Rating: Seven Gold Medals
Becky Lynch beats the hell out of Charlotte after attacking her backstage during a photo shoot, then has her picture taken standing on top of the former champ. Keep doing this!
SHEAMUS W/CESARO VS. BIG E W/KOFI KINGSTON & XAVIER WOODS
Cesaro and his awkwardly-shaped areolas want nothing to do with the “say something nice challenge.” The New Day’s entertaining-to-annoying ratio oscillates month-to-month and even week-to-week, and right now it’s highly entertaining. Decent match between two powerhouses. Nothing special.
Match Rating: Three Gold Medals
IN-RING PROMO: RUSEV & LANA
Aiden English blames everything on Lana. I DON’T CARE ABOUT THIS. Rusev is SO much better than what they’re giving him. Did Lana bang Aiden? Who cares?
Rusev Promo Rating: Two Stone Colds
Aiden English Promo Rating: Four Bobby Lashleys
Lana Promo Rating: Three Bellas
Segment Rating: Six Katie Vicks
I LOVE what Becky is doing. She’s bad ass and hilarious at the same time.
NAOMI & ASUKA VS. MANDY ROSE & SONYA DEVILLE
It makes me sad that this is the best use they can find for Asuka right now. She seems to be having fun, and she certainly had fun destroying Sonya, but she really deserves more.
Match rating: Four Gold Medals
TYE DILLINGER VS. SHINSUKE NAKAMURA
Really good showing by Dillinger until he gets attacked and destroyed by Randy Orton. This is the second Nakamura opponent he has attacked. I think there’s a psychological reason to why he’s stomping on Dillinger’s fingers, and it’s so he can’t do the “ten” signal anymore. I think we’re going to find out that crowd connection is why he attacked him in the first place. Sure enough, Orton mocks that as he leaves. Nakamura decides to add insult to injury with a Kinshasa.
Beatdown Rating: Five Randy Ortons
BECKY LYNCH VS. LANA
This will probably be one ugly match. Hopefully Becky can make Lana look good. Well, aside from a really slow early arm throw, Lana actually looks like she’s keeping up pretty well. That was not nearly as bad of a match as I thought it would be.
Match Rating: Six Gold Medals
CONTRACT SIGNING: AJ STYLES & SAMOA JOE
I’m sure that Allan Jones’ mailbox says STYLES on it. Why would AJ be standing in the ring yelling “man” and “dude” instead of running to a place where he could call the cops and his wife? His actions don’t make any sense. It was perfectly excellent and creepy on Joe’s part, but AJ’s response made it dumb. Ignoring that, I’ll say it was more positive than negative for the psychology and emotional depth.
Segment Rating: Two This Is Your Lifes
Another so-so week for SmackDown.
Overall Show Rating: Five Gold Medals