ROMAN REIGNS
Reigns looks distraught. I… have no words. Man, this is as real as real gets. I really don’t know what to say. Love or hate the character, they loved the man tonight. Such a real moment between him and the crowd, and him and his Shield brothers. There’s a lot of moments that make me embarrassed to be a wrestling fan, but this one with the way the crowd reacted, this made me proud to be one. We love you Joe.
BOBBY LASHLEY w/LIO RUSH VS. FINN BALOR
It’s gonna be really hard to regroup after that start. My heart is still in my throat. Lashley thrashes Balor for a bit before Finn gets a second wind and uses his speed and agility to get some shots in. Lashley catches a splash attempt and turns it into a big Samoan drop for a two count. Rush screaming “LASHLEY! LASHLEY! LASHLEY!” all match. Finn gets a quick roll up on Lashley for a win!
Match Rating: Three Gold Medals
Ziggler & McIntyre discuss what to do about Braun Strowman. McIntyre is going “monster hunting.” Fuck yeah.
SASHA BANKS w/BAYLEY & NATALYA VS. RUBY RIOTT w/SARAH LOGAN & LIV MORGAN
It’s only a matter of time until this becomes three-on-three. Awesome STO by Ruby. Such a cool-looking move. I usually really enjoy Sasha but she’s boring me tonight. She picks it up after a slow start and starts to look really good. Banks almost locks in the Banks Statement while all hell breaks loose on the outside. Banks goes after Morgan & Logan, and Riott takes advantage with the Riott Kick for the win. Slow start, good finish.
Match Rating: Five Gold Medals
D-GENERATION X
Maybe these guys have slowed down in the ring, but their mic skills certainly haven’t suffered. IT’S THE GONG! I actually did not expect this tonight. Holy shit I love it. I love the headstones with HHH and Michaels’ names on them. This is fantastic. SO FUCKING CREEPY!
D-Generation X Promo Rating: Nine D-X’s
Brothers of Destruction Promo Rating: Nine Undertakers
Segment Rating: Ten This Is Your Lifes
Brock Lesnar vs. Braun Strowman for the Universal Championship. PLEASE NO BROCK PLEASE NO BROCK PLEASE NO BROCK.
IN-RING PROMO: PAUL HEYMAN
What the fuck is Paul hanging onto in terms of his hair? That just looks awful. He throws a lot of praise at Roman Reigns, and rightfully so, before going into his Brock Lesnar shtick. Strowman comes out and rips into Lesnar, but OH! CLAYMORE FROM BEHIND! McIntyre lays Braun out! Braun is gonna be the face of the Raw. Not the way he wanted it, but it’s gonna be him.
Paul Heyman Promo Rating: Eight Paul Heymans
Braun Strowman Promo Rating: Six Stone Colds
BACKSTAGE PROMO: DREW McINTYRE
Drew has no fear of reprisal from Strowman, and sounds like an absolute badass.
Promo Rating: Seven Stone Colds
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN: ELIAS
Nope.
ELIAS VS. APOLLO CREWS
Great start to this match until Apollo barely grazes Elias with a moonsault. Crews tries to play to the crowd, and unfortunately, they aren’t buying it. They screwed him up so much that he’s in a pretty bad place right now. His mic skills don’t help. Elias hits a knee and Drift Away for a win… which surprised me. But it’s obvious Elias is the star.
Match Rating: Six Gold Medals
Kurt Angle shouted out the blog! You all heard him say “it’s damn true”!
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, ONCE AGAIN: ELIAS
Nope. Is Elias about to turn face? Guitar shot? Guitar shot. “Corbin’s just mad that Elias isn’t playing covers of Nickelback.” A+ Renee. I’m intrigued by a face Elias.
Segment Rating: Seven This Is Your Lifes
RAW WOMEN’S CHAMPIONSHIP CONTRACT SIGNING: NIKKI BELLA, BRIE BELLA, & RONDA ROUSEY
OMG the way the Bellas talk with that horrid upward inflection makes me cringe. So.. they were too afraid to get into the ring when they thought Ronda wanted to fight. Now they get into the ring… and they try to provoke her to fight? THE FUCK SENSE DID THAT MAKE? One of the worst contract signings ever.
Segment Rating: Six Katie Vicks
Emotional backstage interview with Ambrose and Rollins.
FATAL FOUR WAY: NIA JAX VS. DANA BROOKE VS. TAMINA VS. EMBER MOON
Awesome match on paper. Except it’s probably gonna be all about throwing each other over the top rope. Of course Dana and Ember quickly roll out of the ring. Can’t have more than two people in the ring in a fatal FOUR way match. Ember pins Tamina in like three minutes with an Eclipse. Okay. This is a disgrace that they would book this heading into Evolution.
Match Rating:
I’m pretty sure Trish and Lita are going to get attacked from behind. Or Alicia Fox is gonna show up and be insane. Or both. I love being right. That was cool.
RAW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: SETH ROLLINS & DEAN AMBROSE VS. DREW McINTYRE & DOLPH ZIGGLER (c)
Rollins & Ambrose wrestling with a ton of emotion, but that may not be enough with the way McIntyre has been wrestling lately. Rollins and McIntyre have some of their best chemistry tonight. Incredible superplex throw by McIntyre with Rollins landing face first. So much back-and-forth action in this match and every move has so much intensity.
BRAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNN!!!! He is gonna cost his former team the tag titles. He chases McIntyre out, and Ziggler is left alone. STOMP! NEW CHAMPIONS! After the Reigns announcement I felt this coming. Bad ass.
Match Rating: Eight Gold Medals
DEAN WITH DIRTY DEEDS ON SETH! NO WAY! I was about to say I hope Roman comes back out and celebrates with them. Ambrose beats the piss out of his Shield brother. Well shit. This just got really fucking interesting.
Beat Down Rating: Nine Randy Ortons
It was really hard to focus on everything else after Roman’s announcement. But that finish was shocking. Some really, really bad stuff, especially with the women, but some really good stuff too.
Overall Show Rating: Six Gold Medals
It's Damn True: All About WWE 