THE BIG SHOW VS. KOFI KINGSTON
Big Show’s choke slam used to be good when he followed his opponent to the mat. This was meh.
Match Rating: One Gold Medal
THE USOS VS. AJ STYLES & DANIEL BRYAN
I’m thinking another win for the Usos, probably due to another miscommunication between AJ & DB. Yep. AJ doesn’t seem very resilient tonight, a splash put him down for three.
Match Rating: Four Gold Medals
Becky attacks Charlotte at the WWE Performance Center in front of new recruits! Awesome!
AIDEN ENGLISH VS. RUSEV w/LANA
Did Aiden English throw a shoe? That was over quickly. Please someone tell me the point.
MIZTV w/REY MYSTERIO
Miz does what he does best: puts himself over. I’d like to see Rey have his own dance break. Rey sounds pretty lame on the mic. That was actually a pretty shitty segment. Man, what the hell is going on with SmackDown tonight?
Segment Rating: Two Katie Vicks
REY MYSTERIO VS. THE MIZ
Rey can still move in the ring, and he can damn sure still take a bump. I still can never stop rebelling against the worst finishing move in history. Good match though.
Match Rating: Six Gold Medals
NAOMI & ASUKA VS. MANDY ROSE & SONYA DEVILLE
Nope, of course it turns into a battle royal, because why build up any real storyline and intrigue when you can instead throw 90% of the division in the ring at one time for a minute and a half? Eat shit.
HERE COMES THE MONEY
I have fought against CM Punk chants with ever fiber of my being. Until tonight. It’s the only time I can think of when it was an appropriate protest of this horse shit tournament. Even ignoring where it is, NOT A SINGLE CHAMPION IS IN IT! FUCK ME!
JEFF HARDY VS. RANDY ORTON
Heel Randy Orton is one of the most devastatingly abusive wrestlers there has ever been. Face Randy Orton isn’t that much behind, but it’s so much better when he’s at his most diabolical. Why does Jeff keep his shirt on until going for the Swanton Bomb? I don’t think a shirt has an impact whatsoever on the move, and if it helps him perform better, take it off at the start of the match! Randy Orton counters a Twist of Fate into an RKO for a win. Really good match.
Match Rating: Seven Gold Medals
Overall, an absolute shit show. I’m pretty pissed I stayed up to watch it actually.
Overall Show Rating: One Gold Medal