SmackDown 1000 Review, 10/16

TRUTH TV

Hell yeah! Truth TV! Dance break! And let’s pour some cold water on that boner with Stephanie McMahon and her horrendous entrance music… and what the balls is that dancing she’s doing? Odin almighty… just knock it off. But OH! HERE COMES THE MONEY! I just really don’t want this to turn into a two-hander for the McMahons. Well here comes Vince, and that’s exactly what this is. At least this was not a total McMahon family jerk off, it was a McMahon family dance break! I’m all for that. Great job.

Segment Rating: Seven This Is Your Lifes

this is your lifethis is your lifethis is your lifethis is your lifethis is your lifethis is your lifethis is your life

 

DANIEL BRYAN & AJ STYLES VS. THE USOS

I’m trying to figure out how I feel regarding AJ and DB teaming up. I think I like it, and that they will get more contentious as it gets closer to Crown Jewel (or Survivor Series). I can’t remember the last time AJ wrestled this early in the show. I also can’t remember the last time Jey Uso wrestled. It also seems really weird for two guys, regardless of the fact that they’re both world champions, who have never teamed together are getting the best of the one of the most revered tag teams in recent history. I wonder if the crowd will be more behind Bryan or Styles. I think it might be a dead heat, but my gut says Styles gets more love.

DB accidentally takes hits AJ, then the Usos take them both out for the win. That makes a lot of sense, because of what I just mentioned: they are a much better tag team, and this was a tag team match. Entertaining match.

Match Rating: Six Gold Medals

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It’s a SmackDown GM party backstage!

 

EVOLUTION

I love the Ric Flair 10,000 reference. Isn’t Randy supposed to be against anything that the fans cheer for right now? Well he runs down the rest of the group, so at least he’s staying somewhat in character. An extremely passionate promo from Batista. It reminds me of Goldberg’s goodbye speech after Raw the night after WrestleMania. Great stuff.

Promo Rating: Seven Stone Colds

stone coldstone coldstone coldstone coldstone coldstone coldstone cold

 

WWE WORLD CUP QUALIFYING MATCH: MIZ VS. RUSEV

Kurt Angle is on commentary, Aiden English distracted Rusev, Miz got a roll-up win, Lana kicked Aiden in the balls. Thanks for coming.

miz_participation_award

 

THE CUTTING EDGE

Edge tries to tell Becky Lynch that she made the wrong choice by throwing away her friendship with Charlotte. Becky kicks him out of HER ring, and says, “Be careful you don’t hurt your neck again going through those ropes.” Charlotte attacks! LET THEM FIGHT! LET THEM FIGHT! I loved this whole thing, except I would have let them fight longer. Becky is the best.

Becky Lynch Promo Rating: Nine Sensational Sherris

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Segment Rating: Seven This Is Your Lifes

this is your lifethis is your lifethis is your lifethis is your lifethis is your lifethis is your lifethis is your life

 

SMACKDOWN TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: THE BAR VS. THE NEW DAY

Woods & Big E going for New Day. Jerry Lawler & Booker T are at New Day’s commentary table. I love when Big E starts handing out punishment, but holy shit he spiked Cesaro right on the back of his neck. It didn’t look like a botch, so I dunno what the hell they were thinking with that one, so dangerous. Kofi knocked Sheamus’ feet off the ropes then got laid the hell out from behind by Cesaro. THE BAR THREW THE PANCAKES! Those are real pancakes BTW, I caught and ate one at SmackDown after SummerSlam. And now, Big Show? Weird. Someone is going through the table, and it’s gonna be Kofi. Ladies and gentlemen, this is Big Show’s 500th heel turn. *Golf clap*. BROGUE KICK! NEW TAG CHAMPS! I had a fleeting thought this might happen to give this show a title change, but I ignored it. And now Big Show is with The Bar? I’ll buy it.

Match Rating: Seven Gold Medals

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JBLCena phones in a promo.

 

WWE WORLD CUP QUALIFYING MATCH: REY MYSTERIO VS. SHINSUKE NAKAMURA

Not a typo. This is happening. Why do they keep promoting this as “The WWE World Cup to find out who is the best in the world” when the WWE and Universal Champions are not in the tournament? Shouldn’t it be “The WWE World Cup to find out who is the best of the guys we couldn’t find anything better for”? Enough of this. History is happening. Have these two ever wrestled each other? Is this a bad time for me to point out that the 619 is the worst and most ridiculous finisher of all-time? Rey Mysterio is so good, how is his finisher so bad?

Mysterio does a headfirst slide under the ropes and lands right on Nakamura. That’s what I’m talking about! He does so much awesome stuff! Lose the 619! But then again, my birthday is 6-19, so should I be obligated to like it? I digress. Nakamura crawled over the the ropes to set up the 619, hence the reason it’s so fucking stupid because the opponent can only be in one perfect position for it, but the springboard frog splash afterwards was pretty awesome. Rey moves on after a decent match.

Match Rating: Six Gold Medals

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THE UNDERTAKER

By the time he gets to the ring they’ll go off the air. He probably just made $100,000 per word. It’s great to see The Undertaker, but this was god damn pointless. Sorry Deadman, but…

miz_participation_award

 

I expected much, much better. They probably needed Raw’s three hours for this.

Overall Show Rating: Six Gold Medals

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